Hi everyone.  I am a sufferer of major depression.  I am writing despite the fact that I am currently in a depressive mode.  Ok.  Depression.  Pain.  Suicidal ideation.  It all sucks sucks sucks.  But, I have a child.  Deep down, I don’t feel like I have the choice to end it on my own.  I envy those who have, or seem to, have that choice.  This is when I’m I’m at my lowest.  Problem is I reach the low moments often.  Especially when there’s a lot of stress, my meds aren’t working or just apparently for no reason it comes crashing down on me just when I think I’m finally rid of it.

I love my simple life.  People tell me to be grateful for the good in my life.  The fact is these people just don’t fuckin get that, mentally, I know that!  …. to be continued.