it came to me

a shadow of a thought

or was it a dream?

i was utterly alone

poof, my mommy and daddy gone

who were these strangers?

my body and mind turned ice cold

then the darkness, utter darkness

I dreamnt that night

that I peed in the bowl

only to awake with my underwear soaked

daylight came and even the strangers were gone

the eyes of the woman in the painting

followed me, could not escape her glare

days turned to weeks

my body and mind turned to stone

acceptance that they would never come back

i became a bad bad girl

i soaked and pooped my pants

oh, i was punished

i was a bad bad girl

(my first memory, 2 years old)